A New Year...a New Plan

So its been quite a while since I wrote on this blog....

more specifically its been over 4 months. Sometimes I get afraid of writing because its such a personal thing. But as of January 20th I made up my mind to stop hiding behind all of the things I am blessed to do, saving them for what? So here I am writing to start the new year.

This is my last semester of college and things are looking muddily clear...lol...there are so many possibilities of what to do, where to go to do them and whats in it for me going to these places. As an actress you feel like there are so many things working against you sometimes. Am I tall enough? Will my "type" be appreciated in the popular culture? Can I get the roles I want? and a million other questions that no one has the answers to but God himself. So what do we do to calm our nerves? Some people drink, others decide to go to grad school (in my opinion to buy themselves more time), some change their hair color and others run off and find some humanitarian effort to donate their talent to. But me? What will I do? What can I do? I realize I can do nothing but have faith that with the talent I have been given there are nothing but good things in the future for me.

This year I have decided to do some things differently: or better. So here are my goals not for 2009-but for life:

1.) workout- more regularly, more detailed and with more vigor for maintaining healthy mind and body through changing the way I feel about myself.

2.) read the Bible- for solutions to the things that make me fear greatness- or that just make me fear in general- I realize fear for anything but God is just misplaced energy that I could be using for a million other things.

3.) no men who could be mistaken for high school boys- this is hard to explain but in saying this I dont mean physically but mentally and emotionally. There has to be some disconnect between me and the lost causes of this world. And till this point there has been none.  Instead I have been forming a habit of giving free psychological help in the form of long nights of pointless conversations, dates that I would rather be at home watching a bad reality TV show on VH1 then be on and Facebook honesty box messages full of not so anonymous declarations of "true" feelings. No thank you!

4.) more discipline in every aspect of my life....- pretty self-explanatory i guess.