Monday, September 27, 2010

Something to Talk About...

No one talks anymore. It's true. And when I say that...I mean much more than through phone calls. Yes, we text. We tweet. We subtweet. We send messages through our Facebook statuses. We have phone calls here and there. But even then so many things get left out. I think often of the many people in my life who I probably dont know basic things they grew up or what their favorite color is. It made me think back to this thing we did when I was in school: pen pals. Ha. I remember pen pals was the coolest thing in the world to me. I remember mine from elementary school...her name was Garvey and she lived in Germany. She put stickers all over her letters and made her "l's" funny. I never though to ask how the heck she learned how to speak and write in English...but I loved getting her letters. She told me about her life and her dog and her family...she also told me about the music she was listening to...which to my 4th grade surprise was the same music I was listening to. It was amazing. I can see those letters so clearly in my mind. So recently I started thinking about why that was so amazing. I think what affected me the most was getting to truly know about another person...and also being able to share my life with someone. We don't do that anymore...we just don't have to. We get to gloss over...abbreviate...or simply leave out parts. And I think that's played a direct part in the lack of true connections in our generation. I know it's what we all subconsciously crave... but no one takes chances anymore. It's a risk to share who you are with someone...even if its a complete stranger. I have no idea where Garvey is now...she's probably somewhere blogging and listening to The Script's cd in its entirety (she had a lot in common with me so I'm going to just say we're doing the same things)...but one thing's for sure...I am glad that she was my pen pal...she taught me the importance of communication. Communication helps with learning, learning promotes growth. Growth begets healthy relationships. Healthy relationships equals happier people. See? Get a pen pal. Trust me. It helps.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

16 friends I won't forget.

it's cold in california. no one thinks that's possible. but it is. it's very possible. it gets freezing cold here at night. well my post is not at all about the weather in california. I just thought i'd mention it's my blog. I really want to say how much I miss my classmates. Some people may not know what a program like the one I attended is like. It basically goes like this: you come to a city as a teenager...get thrown into a program with 19 other strangers...and during the first two weeks of school you laugh, cry and learn together...and then you spend the next 4 years as a family. And then when you graduate you're supposed to learn to live without them. it's all very abrupt and heartless. lol. No seriously, my group ended up being only 17...we lost 3 classmates after our first year (lost as in they left the program not as in they left the earth) and they became my brothers and sisters. We even fought like siblings. Here we are:

so many of us from so many backgrounds. an amazing group of talent of all kinds. i learned so much from these kids. they each played a role in the actress/artist I have become. i stole from them. i grew with them. i travelled the world with them (literally we all flew to London to study acting our junior year and then travelled through Europe). it's been a year since the last time i saw most of them and i really miss the hours on end we'd spend in classrooms rehearsals trying to break down our acting walls and make shows work....on stages leaning on one another and praying to God you didn't laugh during a scene (yes even classically trained actors have a fear of laughing during a scene...its called living in the moment...dont judge. ha.). the short of the long of it is...these people were more than classmates to me. and they still mean the world to me.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Today...Stay Inspired

There are times and moments and people who will put their failures and fears on you. They may think it's to protect you from being disappointed. They may think you need to hear it. But that can't make you give up. No matter who it is. A conversation I recently had reminded me of this scene in pursuit of happyness...

You have control over your dreams...go get them. Period.


Sunday, August 29, 2010

Nobody Knows

"he put it on me. i put it on like there was nothing wrong. it didnt fit. it wasn't right. wasn't just the size. they say you know when you know. i dont know. i didnt feel the fairytale feeling. am i a stupid girl for even dreaming that i could."
~ Katy Perry
When I heard those first few lines of "Not Like The Movies" I literally had to stop myself from bursting into tears because...well...not only is it about having someone propose MARRIAGE to you who you know isn't the prince charming that you're waiting for but it's also telling the storyof the inevitability that you'll come face to face with someone who's willing to give you all the love you're searching for... but that you won't be able to convince yourself that your idea of fairytale love isn't out there waiting, long enough to let this person love you. But above all...those lines just reminded me that no one has any clue what love really...TRULY is. I mean if someone, somewhere sat down and decided to spend the rest of their life putting together a definition of love from every song, movie, book, etc...I'd go out on a limb and say they'd die with a failed mission. No one has a clue. We all try to define it. Box it. Stretch it to make it fit all kinds of mess, pain and circumstance. For some it's a feeling. For others its an action. For most it's where we first experience hurt. For many it's where we find ourselves over and over again hoping maybe this works. One of my favorite quotes is found in the story of Anna Karenina (oddly about a woman having a scandelous affair):
"Just as there are as many minds as there are heads, so there are as many types of love as there are hearts."
...I've always read that quote and thought it was amazing and so very true...but how can there be a type of something we can't even define? And how can you ever know you've found it? It seems that's the reason most people remark on finding it once it's gone...equating it with something invisible...something that only loss can reveal. Well isn't that comforting? Ha. Love is risky. And stupid. And beautiful. And boundless. It's too big to be contained...maybe that's the reason no one can really tell when they've captured it.

check the full song here. it's amazing.


P.s- or are we just looking in all the wrong places?


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Inspired by a tweet...

usually people's first choice when things aren't going their way...word, right?

Let's face it we're a generation of people who want what we want, when we want it and not a second later. We have phones that can do anything from the simplest math problem to helping us adopt a child from a foreign country in under ten how could anyone expect us to be patient when it comes to what we want in other areas of our lives? Where is all this coming from...right?...that's what you're all thinking. Well, I can honestly say that I am highly impatient person when it comes to what I want out of life. I set deadlines and keep schedules...I hold myself responsible when things don't turn out the way "I've planned"...I am hard on myself to say the least. And let's face it...why would I not be? For as long as I can remember I've wanted to be a successful actress. I've dedicated most of my young life to learning as much as I can about it and immersing myself in everything about my craft...and it's only right that I see results when I want them, right? I laughed writing that. Because it's just so silly. The truth of the matter is...the world doesn't work around our plans for ourselves and it can be utterly FRUSTRATING! Some of us work, plan, take all our vitamins, dot all our "i"'s and cross all of our "t"'s but things are only going to happen when they're meant to happen. And then there's that ever daunting, looming possibility that we may never get what we think we should's inevitable that some people will lose and some will win. After all, EVERYONE can't win...ask Lebron James...he knows. So there's a sense of entitlement that all of us "hard-workers" have...this idea that our work will 100% result in exactly what we've worked for. Our feeling is of course...I'll do this and I'll get that. We're taught and told that hard work pays off from a really young age...but everyday we see proof of otherwise...we see people who've done nothing (word to Jersey Shore, the Kardashians and George Bush) get ahead and live life both comfortably and ideally with no worries, issues or conflict. Of course there's no way of knowing if any of that is actually the case...but that's how it seems..does it not? Meanwhile, we all know people who've grustled (grind+hustle: a word I picked up from young kids in LA that I find HILARIOUS!) they're entire lives with very little to nothing to show for that fair? Does the universe just have it out for them? Who knows. Well other than the man upstairs...we're all pretty lost as to what it all it naive to think that my work will pay off in the way that I've always envisioned it it materialistic of me to work this hard only in order to someday never feel like I'm working because I'll always be doing what I love and having things to show for it? And, as one of my favorite people in the world tweeted today, am i ungrateful for wanting it all SO QUICK? There are no answers. And that's EXACTLY what makes it sexy, frustrating, dangerous, insane and wonderful to go full throttle after what you want in life. Because you just never know. Faith. Life.
I won't give up. Will you?


And hello to The Printed guys are amazing.

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Monday, August 23, 2010

Edge is Born!

So it's been a while since I've written a blog post and I am now happy to announce that Edge Magazine is here! We had a wonderful debut week and reached over 59 countries and over 5,000 viewers. The feedback was wonderful and everyone who was apart of the first issue had nothing but good to say about their experience with me and my partners, Camara and Ashley. It was a truly amazing and trying experience for all of us to start a business from scratch and then do all of our promotions, marketing and outreach to our features...but we all learned a lot and have become better businesswomen. We are now in the process of putting together a team of writers, PR people and sponsors to help take Edge to the next level. It's gearing up to be something with way more potential than we ever would have imagined.

We have now signed on to be apart of Los Angeles' iWalk for AIDS event on October 17th and will be interviewing AIDS victims and the family, friends and lovers of those who have lost their battle along the way. We are so excited to be giving back in some way and are elated to be walking as Team Edge Magazine, LLC. You can check out our official team page here: Support Edge Magazine's Walk and if you're an Angelino you can join our efforts and walk with us on October 17th or simply help us reach our fundraising goal from near or far. Making sure Edge is apart of the workings of the Los Angeles community means so much to me because I love to give back in more than a monetary way sometimes time and effort says so much more. It will be a wonderful experience for all.

Overall, we have high hopes for Edge and love to hear feedback on the site and read submissions from writers, artists, young entrepreneurs and the like. Everyone who has supported mean the world to us. Without you all we would never have even had the thought to create something like this and we are now overjoyed to know that it has indeed touched and inspired our peers. You can submit videos, talent, music and contact us through the site. We love to hear from you all!

Follow Edge Magazine, LLC on Twitter:
Become a fan on Facebook: Edge Magazine, LLC


Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Wait is Almost Over!

A few weeks back I posted an entry about a business venture I had embarked on with two of my dear friends and now I am back to say: the wait is almost over!!! Ha.

Edge Magazine debuts this Sunday August 1,2010 at The first issue has articles on everyone from NBA star Chris Douglas-Roberts to rising rap star Pat Piff. We are so excited to bring the first issue to our readers and even more ecstatic about featuring young entrepreneurs, leaders and thinkers. With the election of our first African American president and the emergence of minorities in top positions, long gone are the days where we can sit around waiting to be applauded by mainstream media. We must take the initiative to create platforms in which we can applaud our accomplishments on our own.

Why Edge Magazine?

We created Edge to combine the strictly urban air of publications like Vibe/Source magazine with the classy and mature grace of Essence and GQ Magazine. Too often it seems that minority accomplishments, morals and ideas get overshadowed in both classy graces and urban airs, leaving the atmosphere free of true inspiration. Through Edge we hope to inspire people of young and old to go after their biggest dreams by creating a platform to applaud the accomplishments of minorities in everything from sports to humanitarian causes. We hope to encourage everyone to appreciate the journeys in their lives that bring them to and through their successes. For we know that it is in the moments when you're standing on the Edge of the mountain which took so long to climb, that you must decide whether to jump or to turn back. It is our hope that Edge gives you the courage to jump, fly and succeed.

How you can be involved with our launch date:

We've had people from all over write to us about ways to get involved with Edge. We really hope that Edge can create a community of leaders, artists and readers who are all focused on inspiring one another. So we decided to include videos on our website of "What puts you on Edge"...what inspires you, keeps you going and puts you right where you need to be when it's time to focus. We've recieved some GREAT videos so far and want to keep it going. So the videos can be 15-30 seconds and as creative or not creative as you want them to be. When you're all done send them over to:

Quick Facts about Edge:

Creators: Camara Mathis, Iman N Milner, Ashley Nguyen

Launch Date: 8.1.2010

Facebook: Edge Magazine, LLC

How to submit: You can be featured in Edge by simply sending whatever best represents you to

I want to say thank you to all my readers from the bottom of my heart for supporting my blog here and on Facebook as well as on Global is greatly appreciated. I only hope that I can continue to make you all happy through my writings for Edge as well!! Tell a friend about Edge 8.1.2010 :)