Gold Digger? Or refusing to settle?

This is an issue that has been on my mind for quite some time now...

I used to think I knew what men meant when they called a woman a "golddigger". I figured they were describing a woman who only went out with men for what she hoped to gain from him and often times will stop at nothing to get whatever she wants from him i.e. getting pregnant, claiming rape, forcing marriage upon him, etc...but I feel over time this definition has changed to include women who simply aren't settling for "Pookie and his crew". It disturbs me when men, especially men with power/money/fame, use this term to describe women who seek to marry a man who can provide for them. I mean in reality who wants to be with someone who cannot make his own ends meet let alone make sure all her ends are met. I do not see this as some underhanded, crooked way of thinking that should make me feel bad about being attracted to someone who has a lot of money or a wonderful career. I do agree that this should not be the ONLY factor in deciding upon the man I want but if it is ONE of the factors I dont see why I should be viewed so negatively for it. I know there has been this emergence of women who fit the "independent woman" criteria and thats wonderful and I NEVER want to have to depend solely on a man to do anything for me ( I in fact pride myself on having dreams that will make me richer than even the average RICH man) but as I move up in my life, career, dreams, and financial stability I am going to want a man who is on the same upward track not someone who is doing less than. I often times think the "golddigger" discussions are just a way for insecure men who never felt appreciated or desired by women to reveal their insecurities about their newfound wealth/power/status/or perceived handsomeness and it has little to nothing to do with the women at hand. Don't get me wrong there are some women who set out in life to marry a rich man and never work again but what I think is hilarious is the amount of men who spend so much time shutting out all the women who actually care for them (and just want to feel secure) that they, in the end, wind up with a woman who only wants them for their money...

So all my fellas out there who are either currently doing their thing or plan to be living large really soon...make sure you're swinging the sword in the right direction when you use these overarching titles "golddigger", "jersey chaser", "paper chaser", etc...

And for the ladies....keep it real with these men out here...get to know them and more importantly do something with your OWN life so you can walk away from anyone who doesn't treat you with the utmost respect; HOWEVER, for all my women who don't know if their golddiggers or not, here are some tell-tell signs that you are most definitely a GD:

(1) you ONLY date guys who are professional actors, athletes, singers, rappers, producers, etc...

(2) you ONLY date guys who are prospective pro actors, athletes, singers, rappers, producers, etc...

(3) you are currently dating a guy who you know nothing about besides what kind of car he drives and how big of a house he lives in

(4) you know the salaries, names and favorite hangout spots of all your home team's players and all the neighboring states/cities players

(5) you know/plan on knowing/are currently planning traps to get and keep a "rich man"

(6) you are in the process of doing nothing other than spending some man's money

(7) you refer to the man you're dating as your "meal ticket", "golden ticket", "atm", "bank account", "sponsor", etc...

(8) you are at the club after the lights come on and you were NOT initially with the VIP party

(9) not even interested in kids for any other reason than an investment

(10) ULTRA materialistic...all you care about is labels...even one's you cant readily identify...as long as it sounds expensive

Hope this helps all my men and women out there who are struggling with this same topic...and yall know its just my thoughts ;)

sincerely,

@bestnewactress