2's a Scene but 3's a Show?

So this blog post is about relationships...or the lack of...I think I speak for a lot of women (and a some men although I can only honestly speak from a woman's point of view) when I say I feel let down by my brothas especially those at the top who have many ears listening to their voices. I mean where did this total disregard for those sacred bonds between men and women come from? Let me set this up by saying, sadly a lot of women have taken on the same attitudes and behave in the same way as men so this is not a man bashing post by any means...I just want to express my feelings...if you ever felt like this? Vibe with me...lol

Everywhere you turn there is a song, tv show, movie, news article about cheating men/women who have decided that what they have at home is not good enough for them. The glorification of "threesomes", "boyfriend #2", "side chicks", etc...is at an all time high i mean there is a certain female rapper who calls her self "Monica Lewinsky" (im just saying)...and so where does that leave us? It is hurtful to think that these ideas will filter themselves into what will be the marriages between people in our generation. There are many women who openly date men with wives/girlfriends i.e. Kim on RHOA and see no problem with it...in fact think its normal, justify it and glorify themselves for being the woman he spends the "most of his time with". And then there are all my "boyfriend #2"'s out there. You know the guys who would rather date someone else's girl so he doesnt have to deal with the day to day work it takes to maintain a relationship. And I will even go out on a limb and say that about 80% of the people I know who have either been in relationships or are currently in them have come face to face with some instance of infidelity. So much so that some people even now have "situations" or relationship statuses of "its complicated" or "open"...ummm where dey do dat at?

What has happened to us that we now think it is acceptable to be cheated on, lied to and under appreciated? We tolerate so much and yet demand so little out of our partners. I feel like there are so many foundations built on sand these days that the percentage of crumbling relationships cant do anything but rise. As a people in America I think we have become accustomed to never being satisfied..."oh I have big breasts, Im gonna get BIGGER breasts", "oh I can afford a Whopper, no I'm gonna get a DOUBLE WHOPPER", "oh I can bag one bad chick, I'm gonna bag TWO at the SAME TIME". And now we have no morals, no expectations, no guidelines, no boundaries. Love has lost its meaning and its importance. Saying you love someone used to set up certain expectations: never hurting that person intentionally, thinking about that person's feelings above your own and always, always acting OUT of that which you feel (that being Love so your actions could never go sour). Who knows what love means anymore in some of these relationships...and where to place the blame? It used to be that we could blame the indifference to relationships on the presence of broken homes in our community but I just dont think that's true anymore. I know plenty of people from (seemingly) wonderful families where they've seen what a good relationship can be like, who are the worst of the worst when it comes to their disregard for the idea of monogamous relationships. I could blame the media...that would be the easiest way out...but hell at this point we all should know that "its only entertainment"...but maybe we dont.

Im gonna instead take the road less travelled and hold our generation responsible for our own actions. No one can be blamed but us...how many women have entertained a man in a relationship for a little longer than you should have? how many men are giving the business to someone's wife or woman right now? how many men/women plan on being "single for the night" this weekend? Right. We make decisions every day that make a world of difference. It's up to us to bring the love and respect back to our relationships and we can start by just doing what we know is right. So to my ladies...the next time you get the number from the guy who says "i have a situation" or "we aint on good terms" delete it, throw it away and if he has yours DO NOT ANSWER...give that woman he's hurting a break. To my fellas when you meet that girl who says "we been going through some stuff" or " what he doesnt know wont hurt him"....walk away, there is nothing she can give you that's worth having...and she's probably giving a lot of it away if thats the way she's selling it. Of course I dont have all the answers...I just feel like we have to start somewhere in fixing this problem and we have to start at a very basic level. Through those common mistakes we can stop the hurt woman who gets with the good man and ruins him...and then he gets with a good girl and ruins her...the cycle continues...children are made by the ruined and here we go all over again...this was my attempt to just start the discussion...and all i ask is that you guys think about it and keep the conversation going.

Im just speaking my mind as usual... :)

Sincerely,

@bestnewactress