What's In A Word?

Ok...a lot of you who know me know that I was working on a documentary when I was in school that chronicled the negative impact of the media/society on women of color...well I recently started working towards finishing it and one of the questions I asked the women I interviewed really hit me like a ton of bricks..."What words are most commonly used to describe women of color who are attractive?" and none of the women used the word "beautiful"...NONE OF THEM and honestly neither would I...why does this matter you may be wondering?

Well....here we go:

Most of the words these women felt were most commonly used were in some way dealing with our sensuality/sexuality (two totally different words)/oversexuality...none of them seemed to note the wonderful innocence behind our big brown/hazel/black eyes or the wisdom behind our full lips and round cheeks...the most common words dealt with this idea that we are only valued for our bodies...or some illusion that we must fit the images most commonly displayed of us. And they also set up a false/sad title for women to fight to achieve...because what do wehave to offer if we aren't "bad", "thick", "exotic", "sexy", "a dime" or the newly introduced "5 star chick"? And so in thinking of this while listening to these beautiful friends of mine talk about what they deal with day to day as women of color...I began to think back into my life about what I had been most commonly called...and I started to see that we are the only people who can change these things...I have been so very blessed to have people around me who have stressed the importance of being BEAUTIFUL inside and out...being virtuous and honest...being educated and proud...and being the girl next door with a mysterious ability to live in the moment and brighten up a room. I was blessed to have parents who would look me in my big brown eyes and tell me i was special. I was blessed to have teachers who were on my side and encouraged me to succeed. And i was most of all blessed to have the self-confidence that never allowed me to fall victim to some of the things other women have. But not everyone is as blessed...and someone has to step in and let them know they have value that goes far beyond what they can physically offer someone. Someone has to let them know that no matter what complexion, hair texture or size...they are indeed BEAUTIFUL...someone has to let them know they are loved...so if it has to start with me so be it...

To all my ladies of color out there who feel sometimes like no one sees how much you have to offer because of what you look like...all those pretty chocolate girls who see someone who looks different get the man/job/life you want (or you THINK you want because the grass always LOOKS greener on the other side)...to all my Latina mamas who dont fit the mold of what you see representing you on TV...and to all the women of color who aren't satisfied with who they are or how they look because someone else isn't...YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO OFFER....AND I LOVE YOU! :)

I stepped up...you're turn! Ha! That was my sista girl rant for the month...but I had to get that out there...and this is not to say that White women dont have their own sets of issues...Im sure they do...but I can't relate...

Have a Wonderful Wonderful Holiday!

Sincerely,

@bestnewactress