DO unto others...

It's 2010...but the word written so long ago still remains true "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"...not only does this phrase hold so much value because it sets up a nice guiding principle for your life but it also clues us into something very crucial that we often times forget...the "DOing". It seems we have become a culture of talk. Make a mistake, give a speech about how you're sorry...see an injustice, make a speech about how wrong it is...etc...but what we forget is that actions are what speak the loudest...in remembering this first and foremost there'd be less apologies to be made. Especially in matters of the heart. I have so many freinds...both male and female...who have been let down by people they care about...not by what they have said but by what they have DONE. By "what they have done" I don't just mean cheating...I mean small things that sometimes hurt worst. Disappointments add up and become more crucial than one big mistake. The weeks without phone calls, the giftless birthdays and disregard for deep feelings can do a number on a person. Too often there are promises unkept and feelings ignored...which leads to the "doing" of things that cause the loss of relationships and more importantly true friendships. Speaking for myself...as an example...I'm not a very public person with my emotions or feelings...I tend to not open up a lot to people...I give all of my feelings and fears and desires and needs and passions to the characters I play...I channel everything...acting is my therapy BUT if and when I do open up to a person and let them in...especially if they've convinced me to trust them....if that that bond is broken...or if there is now disregard for the trust I had in that person...I may shut off. I may become a person who won't ever open up to someone in the same way. I have to start the process over...and maybe along the way I'll meet someone who really is a nice person and wants to know more about me...but I can't... because I just won't let myself trust enough to be BRAVE enough to have that taken away or torn down when that person decides to walk. And I am not alone in those feelings. It's part of the reason I chose that photo for this blog post...it does become a cycle. I urge all of you....to show who you really are...to be honest with yourself first so that in turn you can be honest with whoever comes to care for you in your life. If you know you're a person who leaves without word or notice...and you know someone cares about you. Don't let their feelings get deeper...protect their heart. Break the cycle. If you're a man who knows that monogamy is not your strong suit maybe the girl with her wedding all planned in her head is not the one for you....protect her heart. Break the cycle. If you're a woman who knows that your esteem issues won't let you truly love someone because you don't truly love yourself maybe the guy who sends flowers and talks of one day being the best husband in the world isn't the one for you right now...protect his heart. Break the cycle. We've got to protect the innocence in one another...by being real.

Sincerely,

@bestnewactress

How I've been feeling lately...enjoy :)

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day to all my wonderful readers! There are so many different ways to feel about this "holiday" but remember it's only one day! You've got 364 others to be loving, caring and kind not only to someone you're romantically linked to but to everyone you care for. Just for fun...I've made a nice little list of songs for each kind of Valentine's Day celebrator :) Enjoy.

1.) The "Woo"-er (for my fellas)

2.) The "Maybe Next Year"- er

3.) The "I Wish I Knew Where We Stood"-er

4.) The "He/She's the One"-ers

5.) The "I've Got a Crush"-ers (for my ladies)

6.) The "I Don't Funk With Cupid"- ers :(

7.) The "Maybe This Time?"-ers

8.) The "*ahem* We're Just Kicking It"-ers hehe

9.) The "I Love My Man"- ers

10.) The "I Love My Woman"-ers

And of Course For "The WIN"-ers ;)

Happy Love Day... :)

Sincerely,

@bestnewactress

Free Falling

Lately I've been thinking alot about what it means to surrender to loving someone. I know, right? Deep. Dope. I think that falling in love with someone is the scariest, most rewarding, dumbest, most beautiful, craziest, most gratifying thing in the world one can do. Yes. All those things. The most imperative thing about being able to fall in love is the ability to be completely vulnerable with another person. And quite frankly....that's a much more difficult task than most of us are willing to admit. Because really...it is...a free fall into something with no visible end. It means giving someone the ability to hurt you...and they might or...they might not. It's all about risk and (later on) trust. People often say "you can't help who you love" and that's true to a certain extent...but you CAN help who you're willing to be completely vulnerable with. Vulnerability is a choice. There is a moment where you have to decide if this person is worth the risk you'll take by giving them the power to maybe walk away and leave you with nothing. It's in this intersection that many of us turn back and decide that we're not ready EVEN THOUGH we may truly love the person who's waiting on the other side. Some people may say "well being IN love is different from loving someone"...and I agree. I have always detested the idea that in some way being "in love" was deeper than loving...that's ridiculous...if you're "in" something you can always be "out" of it...if and when you choose....being "in" love is safe...there is no vulnerability in the action...because there is a turning back point...but loving? Truly loving someone...is fearless, empowering and final. You don't stop loving someone when it's all over...no matter what happens. Love to me is the ultimate truth...and in the words of my girl Ms. Arie...the truth needs no proof...either it is or it isn't. Simple and complex as that. So...how do you know you're completely ready to give yourself over to love? I guess...you just know.

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine

Quite possibly the greatest quote about love ever written. Think about it. If you're trying to decide whether to take the chance or whether to keep running from something that could possibly bring you many, many happy times...TAKE IT...why not? Love someone...deeply and fully. If nothing else you'll get the chance to say you did it.

Sincerely,

@bestnewactress

Have We Met?

Well...I actually didn't just create this post...it's a throw back of something that was happening on Facebook back when it was still cool. Ha. I just happened to go back and read it and it has to be one of the most honest things I have ever said about myself out loud. So I decided there was no harm in re posting it here on my blog for all those who may want to know a little more about me as a person. Enjoy :)

Saturday, January 31, 2009 at 11:12am

1.) When I was a little girl I would perform for my mom and dad and I wouldnt come out of the curtains until my dad introduced me the right way...(the acting bug has always been in me)

2.) I am deathly afraid of cats!

3.) I always wanted to have a big sister or brother close to my age because I thought people who had them were cool.

4.) I always rehearse what I'll say when I win my Academy Award, go on Oprah for the first time, and am called to speak at an important Gala (these days its been for Obama)

5.) I am very quiet and really shy so I've always been outspoken and funny so that people dont have to see the real me. (man that was hard to say)

6.) My biggest fear is not getting married to the man I love the most because i 1.) dont find him or 2.) dont know he's the one til afterwards

7.) I write all the time...I have a blog, a journal and I started writing a screenplay...its my other passion

8.) I am a really good dancer but never wanted to pursue it because I didnt think I could be better than my mother. ugh. but i dance technically all the time and will never stop.

9.) I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE basketball and want to own my own NBA team by the time im 50. (its going to happen!)

10.) When my dad died I dreamed about it everyday for almost a year and I sometimes ask God to send him to talk to me in my dreams when I really miss him

11.) I really love God...and want to have a closer relationship with him.

12.) I've never been in love...loved deeply of course but never been in love.

13.) I sometimes daydream about Chris Brown being my boyfriend LOL...no seriously I do.

14.) I cry when I read Shakespeare's romance plays...I want love like that.

15.) I wish my family was like the ones in the movies...with the big dinners and everyone gets together on birthdays and stuff....

16.) I am really imaginative...I am always creating stuff...

17.) I cannot help but see a character when I look at someone...I think about how I could play them.

18.) I want to own performing arts schools in Chicago, Detroit, New York, PHiladelphia, Los Angeles, North Carolina (Salem more specifically), and somewhere in Jersey...they'll be named after my father...Ron Milner Academy of the Arts and each wing of the school will be named after a great African American Artist.

19.) I remember everyone's birthdays who has ever been my friend...i think its important and when people remember mine and call me it makes my day.

20.) I am very very very sensitive and fear hurting people's feelings.

21.) I want to be the highest-paid actress in Hollywood before age 40.

22.) I hate reality TV shows and singers who become actors because I think they disrespect the craft I love so much.

23.) I think Barack Obama is the best thing to ever happen to America and no matter what people say I think he will bring change....I cry every time he's on TV.

24.) I performed for and met Jay-Z..he told me and Ashley Wade we were talented actresses...cool!

25.) My best friends Janae and Jasmine are two of the most beautiful people to me...sometimes I look at them and want to tell them how much I love them but instead I crack a joke (no homo)

**Bonus**

I spent the first 5-6 years of my life travelling the world with my Dad and mom and we lived in NY while my dad's plays were on Broadway...how cool is that?

I really want to have season courtside tickets to Lakers games before Kobe Bryant retires

I want to travel to a new country every year before 30

I want to be fluent in Spanish sooooo bad

Living with the girls I live with now has made me a stronger woman who truly believes that she is beautiful..weird huh?

I dont think me and my mom have a conventional mother/daughter relationship...i sometimes think if i had danced we would be closer

I've always been more comfortable around guys because I never thought i was really girly

I wont marry someone who's not tall!

Little blast from the past post....tomorrow new feelings, new post...but for those of you who don't know me well....there's a little bit to help. :)

Sincerely,

@bestnewactress