Free Falling

Lately I've been thinking alot about what it means to surrender to loving someone. I know, right? Deep. Dope. I think that falling in love with someone is the scariest, most rewarding, dumbest, most beautiful, craziest, most gratifying thing in the world one can do. Yes. All those things. The most imperative thing about being able to fall in love is the ability to be completely vulnerable with another person. And quite frankly....that's a much more difficult task than most of us are willing to admit. Because really...it is...a free fall into something with no visible end. It means giving someone the ability to hurt you...and they might or...they might not. It's all about risk and (later on) trust. People often say "you can't help who you love" and that's true to a certain extent...but you CAN help who you're willing to be completely vulnerable with. Vulnerability is a choice. There is a moment where you have to decide if this person is worth the risk you'll take by giving them the power to maybe walk away and leave you with nothing. It's in this intersection that many of us turn back and decide that we're not ready EVEN THOUGH we may truly love the person who's waiting on the other side. Some people may say "well being IN love is different from loving someone"...and I agree. I have always detested the idea that in some way being "in love" was deeper than loving...that's ridiculous...if you're "in" something you can always be "out" of it...if and when you choose....being "in" love is safe...there is no vulnerability in the action...because there is a turning back point...but loving? Truly loving someone...is fearless, empowering and final. You don't stop loving someone when it's all over...no matter what happens. Love to me is the ultimate truth...and in the words of my girl Ms. Arie...the truth needs no proof...either it is or it isn't. Simple and complex as that. So...how do you know you're completely ready to give yourself over to love? I guess...you just know.

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine

Quite possibly the greatest quote about love ever written. Think about it. If you're trying to decide whether to take the chance or whether to keep running from something that could possibly bring you many, many happy times...TAKE IT...why not? Love someone...deeply and fully. If nothing else you'll get the chance to say you did it.

Sincerely,

@bestnewactress