Honesty is the Best Policy (?)

So I am sitting in this coffee shop and I realize I have no clue as to how to go about writing this post. I have been reluctant to write a post because I feel like I must finish what I started as far as the "Dear Heart" chronicles are concerned but the truth of the matter is: I dont know where to start. A blog is such a public place to deal with private thoughts but I do it because I feel like maybe someone will be compelled to express their feelings as well. So with that said....I recently disclosed some "feelings" to (oh shoot I still haven't come up with a good alias for him so...) McDreamy and as soon as they left my lips I wanted to jump out of the nearest window and fall to the ground...if I had wings I would have shot straight out of his ceiling and flew home without looking back. Anyone who knows me knows that I dont go around dripping feelings from my lips and I dont usually express my feelings unless it is absolutely necessary in the moment (for example, a friend in need of a little pick me up or something) but he didnt ask, he didnt pry: I just spilled the beans. WTF?! I know, right? So it made me think: IS honesty the best policy? Can you sometimes get away with just tweeking the truth, just to keep someone guessing? Or should you be upfront? And with that I add to the "Dear Heart" chronicles....

"Dear heart,

the next time you want to go speaking your mind. consult me first. i'd appreciate it. Thanks." 

Love,

@bestnewactress :)

The New Thing in My Life

Now if you're following me on Twitter, are my friend, have heard me talk about love/like/mushy feelings at all- you'll know I have lots of hangups about going "there" with someone. And I am not talking about physically, I mean, what's the right way to put this, I just am not quick to actually like someone. Yeah, thats it. You have to first catch my attention and then keep it and then keep it some more and then maybe, just maybe, I'll like you forreal or at least enough to answer your phone calls on a regular basis. Ok I know right now people are like "Is this gonna be an angry, independent, lonely Dear John letter?" No! It's not. I am just setting up a clear picture for you so that what I am about to say next means even more :)

I LIKE SOMEONE!!  Lol, I do. He's Great. Pretty Great. 

And because I'm new to this whole "admitting that I like someone" thing. I am gonna need to blog a lot of my new feelings out. I've been really reluctant to talk about him ( i feel really weird calling him "him" lol...so Im gonna come up with an alias..hmmm...i really wanna steal "McDreamy" from Grey's Anatomy at least for the time being so...) but McDreamy has infiltrated my thoughts...its weird because im not "that girl"...ask anyone who knows me I tend to be able to balance the laws of attraction with everything else in my life just fine usually but something's new. So every day and time I feel something new that I haven't felt before/in a long time...im gonna simply come here to my blog and address a quick note like this one:

"Dear heart, why are you feeling all funny? And why do you have me looking at my phone every 10 minutes? I'd like to get back to doing things my way...Thanks"

Hope you like the new design by the way...Peace

Sincerely,

@bestnewactress :)

Why Michael Jackson's Death has Touched Me So Deeply

Ever since I heard the news of Michael Jackson's death, I really haven't been able to get it off of my mind. Yeah, I know, "well he's Michael Jackson of course the greatest entertainer of all times, its seems unreal" and yes I have those feelings about his death. I do agree that there was an air of invincibility attached to this image of an entertainer like no other that never seemed like it would go away. He was the 9th Wonder and definitely did not seem of this world for most of his career. He created magic every time he walked on to a stage and his power as performer did something to people (old, young, white, black, green, deaf, blind...you get the point).  The thing that connected us all through his music and videos is no doubt his unparalleled greatness. But although these are the things we can all agree on, my mind is stuck on the thing that makes me and Michael Jackson the same. 

Growing up as a young girl with two artistically creative parents I developed this keen sensitivity for people and people's issues. I was a big crybaby when I was young ( I kinda laugh saying that now)...but I was ALWAYS crying. My feelings were always hurt by a person who wouldn't share with me or didn't want to be my friend and I would be hurt to the core. My mother would always struggle to deal with my sensitivity because she recognized the "artist" in me who had such a huge heart for humanity. She recognized that she had to preserve my sensitivity as an artist so that I wouldn't lose my ability to create from an emotional place while protecting my sensitivity as a person so that I wouldn't spend my life being broken down by every person who entered my life without good intentions. And my father recognized my sensitivity as an "artist" and put me in my first play when I was just 8 years old while protecting my sensitivity as a person by loving me unconditionally and making me secure in my skin to the point that nothing could change me but everything could alter me. But I was so blessed to have these parents who recognized as creative individuals that what I had was not a weakness but something beautiful that needed to be preserved and I often think if I didn't have parents who recognized it as a beautiful thing and only saw my talent as a way to live out their own dreams I would have had a life very similar to Michael Jackson's tragic legacy. 

When listening to many of his songs there is this crying out for help that is heartbreaking in many of his lyrics. He asks to not be judged, to be understood and to be loved unconditionally and I cannot imagine the demons he must have fought with every night. And so I guess I wrote this blog today because as news of his death being a homocide hits the news like a brick through a car window and the circus continues I feel an overwhelming sadness for him. Not his family, not his fans and not his children but for him. The sensitive heart that had to be behind the man who never grew out of childhood. How much he must have internalized all the wrong that was done to him over the years and as an artist my heart cries out for him. Everyday I dream of being able to use acting to help me get to a place to do all the things I want to do for humanity and a lot of what Michael Jackson did for the world inspires me and how the world thanked him saddens me deeply. So I urge the world to keep his legacy alive: his perfection in music and performance, his desire to make the world better than it was when he entered it, his commitment to excellence and innovation and most importantly his love for people. The other things whether rumor or true have no effect on how I view the greatest entertainer to ever live. Agree or not. Just my feelings. 

Love,

@bestnewactress :)

                                                      

Gotta Respect That

 

I've always been the kind of person who does not go around calling everyone my friend. I am not guilty of sharing my secrets with every girl who comes into my life and I most definitely don't grow to respect everyone I come in contact with. But when I do let down all guards and connect with someone whether male or female I give them 100% respect, an A+ in the gradebooks if you will. But as soon as I start to see signs of things that are not reminiscent of the type of person I am or the type of people I like to surround myself with, I let it go just as much as I gave it...100%. 

And one thing that can never be said about me

is that I didnt earn my respect, demand and it give to those around me...

So...here are a few things that make me say "Gotta Respect That":

(1.) Honesty- not to be confused with truth

(2.)- People who speak up for themselves- don't let people walk all over you it doesn't make you more approachable or likeable it makes you an easy target and a boring person

(3.)- People who are ALWAYS themselves- don't pretend to be something you're not because once people find out your real side its lights out no one is gonna care anymore

(4.) Differences and people who accept them

(5.) Adaptability- when you come into a new situation, do you stick out like a sore thumb? or are you able to adapt while remembering #3? 

(6.) When a romantic relationship is over...the ability to maintain a real friendship and let everything go...thats RESPECT

(7.) A man who knows he's supposed to walk out of doors first and a few inches in front of a woman when they're together...(little known secret it shows you're prepared for whatever may come...shows you're a protector...Pops taught me that)

(8.) A woman who knows how to pick a good man...not a perfect man...but a good strong one with good moral values who understands his place as a man in your life  

(9) And THEE most IMPORTANT one of ALL: A person who respects him/herself. A person who respects him/herself will always have a plan for their future, whether its just where they hope to be or where they want to be there will be something there. A person who respects him/herself will always have the guts to deal with any situation when it arises in a mature and efficient way not when there is an excuse for their behavior that they can hide behind i.e drunk, high, depressed, pregnant, etc... A person who respects him/herself will always be surrounded by other people who respect themselves (but dont get it twisted there will be someone in the mix of respectful people who'll have very little respect for themselves and everyone else...watch how they move they'll always make themselves known).

Once again this is my blog where I sometimes go to express feelings that I am having at the time....and so the song that most fits how I'm feeling is "Aint No Love (Heart of the City)"- Jay-Z

Sincerely,

@bestnewactress :)

I Can't Help the Poor If Im One Of Them...

"And i cant help the poor if I'm one of them 

so I got rich and gave back to me thats the win/win..."

This post is going to discuss this idea that in some way getting money, having a desire for success and moving from where you grew up is "selling out". I think that has to be one of the most ignorant things I have ever heard. I hear it a lot in Detroit (where I'm from) sometimes even from my family members, you know "oh you too gooooodd for Detroit now" or "you lived here all them years you were growing up, must not have been THAT bad" and my response is always the same: I learned a lot from the cards I was handed in the game but now that I get to choose the deck, I'm not making the game that hard for myself. I have so many hopes and dreams for my future and most of my hopes include giving back to not only those people struggling to get by in Detroit but all around the world. But how can I do that, if I had never stepped outside my neighborhood?How can I give to someone when I cant give to myself? How can I change the world if I cant afford a ticket to other side of the globe? It makes me really sick to my stomach when I see a hip hop artist, actor, athlete, etc...ridiculed for growing up and moving on and even making different choices with how they look to reflect the blessings God has bestowed on them. Prime examples...I heard a woman talking about Keyshia Cole and how she has "changed" and she said "she dont look as down anymore she aint even representing like she used to?" WTF? You think all those years she was walking around with that gap thinking "I love this even when I get money Im gonna keep this to remind me that I could never afford braces?" NO! What sense does it make to continue to look, act, talk or be in the mindset of where you've been instead of where you're going? The people who dont ever get the hang of that very idea are the people who get caught up in trying to remain "down" and do something stupid i.e. Michael Vick (who I agree didnt deserve the treatment he got from dog fighting BUT if he had left that ghetto stuff behind him maybe he wouldnt have been in that predicament). 

So in thinking about what I want for my life and legacy, my future family and my family now I decided that I am going to work as hard as I can to end the curse of poverty, oppression and "lack of" that has loomed over my family for many generations. I was blessed to have parents who introduced me to the "real":  being educated, visting different places in the world, appreciation for all types of artistic expression and helped me to develop my very own blessing of artistic creation and I will NOT pretend like they didnt so that someone standing on Kercheval reading the latest issue of King Magazine thinks I am "down". So I am telling you now that when I blow Detroit will never be looked at the same...as long as its associated with me :)

"I dont be in the project hallways, talking about how I be in the projects all day...that sound stupid to me..."

Can Sex Stop Selling...Please?

Attention Attention Attention

Am I the only person so very very sick and tired of young (minority especially) women "accidentally" leaking nude pictures of themselves to the internet. I mean like forreal? How many times can your Blackberry get "cracked into" before you stop getting butt naked and sending them to your man? Dont you have millions of dollars? Cant you just go see him and do it in person? Wouldnt that make more sense, if you're really trying to keep it private? Especially all of these young women who could really be putting all their fame to some good use...its just sickening. But then I have to put some of the blame on all of us. We give these people all the props in the world for being the way they are. For example, what does Kim Kardashian do exactly? Does she have a talent? Has she done anything of note besides having sex on camera for the world to see? Naw. But that doesnt stop us from praising and watching her every move. And this little girl from High School Musical...this is a doggone shame and even Miley Cyrus like forreal what kind of young ladies are little girls supposed to grow up to be? and yeah I know, I know thats why parents need to be involved and make sure their raising their kids the right way, right? Well I agree and I will say that I had a pretty wonderful upbringing but that didnt stop my peers/friends/older cousins etc...from introducing me to things that my mother still doesnt know I was introduced to so lets stop pretending that these slutty buddies are not role models whether they willingly admit it or not...

And then lets not forget the people we allow to get away with lots of sexploitation i.e. Beyonce...Ciara...and the list goes on and on...the bottom line is just because they hold a microphone while doing it doesnt make it ok for them to be basically naked and sexually suggestive and as a woman I feel mentally in a place to seperate how I should behave from what these women are paid to do on TV and stages for our entertainment but so many young girls are not in a place to do that and the results are all those girls who we shake our heads at all summer long. Think about it...

Surround Yourself With the Right People

I have always heard that from so many people I grew up under "surround yourself with the right people" but it has never resounded so loud with me as it does now that I am a college graduate getting ready to move further into God's plan for my life. The thing about it is I am a fun, entertaining, lively person and so often people mistake that for a lack of focus, respect or drive...and I love to see the look on their faces when I prove them wrong. But even more important than my ability to break down misconceptions about myself has always been my ability to find people who were just as focused as me. I have had pretty much the same friends since middle school. Girls like me: focused, intelligent, confident, fun and loving. We all have goals, dreams (which are so much different than goals so many people confuse the two) and a strong desire to succeed at everything we do. When I am feeling like "well maybe I wont work out" or "maybe I wont use ALL of my talents"... one of them steps in and SHOWS me that I can do it by pushing forward in their own goals.By working out an extra day in the week or picking up extra hours to pay off her student account. They dont just talk about it they DO it and thats what keeps me motivated when I'm feeling a little less than Great. I guess I wrote this entry mostly because I see so many men and women hanging out with people who are so below them in will, self-respect, motivation, dreams, desires,etc...etc... and then they are surprised when they start to adapt the same ways. "You are what you eat"- and eating doesnt just have to be that thing you do when you're hungry, are you eating the bs that "some nigga is gonna give you what you need in life"? are you eating the lie that "you have your whole life to get focused"? are you eating the lie that you're not good enough to go after what you want? are you eating the lies you feed yourself? At any rate you are what you decide to be and no matter what you may try to tell yourself the people you surround yourself with will have a big affect on how and what you eat...

Facebook Fakers BeWare this Post is for YOU!

There is something I must address

RIGHT NOW

(1) If you throw parties for a living...

and you happen to have one coming up soon

and you use FACEBOOK as your main source

of marketing...

Why oh why must you send 8 billion notifications?

(2) If everytime I am on Facebook you 

Facebook Chat

me and I NEVER say more than a few sentences

before I "accidentally" log  off

GUESS WHAT?

I probably dont want to talk to you!

(3) If you pretend to be a thug, gangsta,goon

etc...etc...

but I can walk into the nearby mom and pop

and see you there in uniform taking orders

stop the tomfoolery

You know, Facebook is NOT real life

(4) This is for both women and men,

if every single status of yours 

is something sad, depressing, angry

or discusses something

about your "no good" man/woman

WE DONT CARE! 

We came to Facebook to get away from our problems

not to read yours everyday!

(5) Stop picking fights on Facebook 

you just saw him/her out

at the club

and decided to say nothing

and then you come home and pop off

all on the net knowing that you

will once again be rendered silent if yall ever meet again

its called Facebook not FakescaredWackbook

(6) If you update your status more than once a day

in fact if you update

more than a few times a week...

get Twitter...

Facebook is not the place for that anymore

(7) Last but certainly not least! 

If you have a stupid, immature middle name

such as "imthemoneymaker" or

"icantakeyourgirlandyocscrilla"

Please remove it you just seem bored, dumb, childish,

uncool, wack, friendless, moneyless, girlless, funless

and its just not necessary

Lets bring the fun and class back to Facebook because quite frankly everytime I see one of these big Facebook fouls committed

I am one step closer to cancelling my account

and when I do you can just

Follow me on Twitter :)