What's In A Word?

Ok...a lot of you who know me know that I was working on a documentary when I was in school that chronicled the negative impact of the media/society on women of color...well I recently started working towards finishing it and one of the questions I asked the women I interviewed really hit me like a ton of bricks..."What words are most commonly used to describe women of color who are attractive?" and none of the women used the word "beautiful"...NONE OF THEM and honestly neither would I...why does this matter you may be wondering?

Well....here we go:

Most of the words these women felt were most commonly used were in some way dealing with our sensuality/sexuality (two totally different words)/oversexuality...none of them seemed to note the wonderful innocence behind our big brown/hazel/black eyes or the wisdom behind our full lips and round cheeks...the most common words dealt with this idea that we are only valued for our bodies...or some illusion that we must fit the images most commonly displayed of us. And they also set up a false/sad title for women to fight to achieve...because what do wehave to offer if we aren't "bad", "thick", "exotic", "sexy", "a dime" or the newly introduced "5 star chick"? And so in thinking of this while listening to these beautiful friends of mine talk about what they deal with day to day as women of color...I began to think back into my life about what I had been most commonly called...and I started to see that we are the only people who can change these things...I have been so very blessed to have people around me who have stressed the importance of being BEAUTIFUL inside and out...being virtuous and honest...being educated and proud...and being the girl next door with a mysterious ability to live in the moment and brighten up a room. I was blessed to have parents who would look me in my big brown eyes and tell me i was special. I was blessed to have teachers who were on my side and encouraged me to succeed. And i was most of all blessed to have the self-confidence that never allowed me to fall victim to some of the things other women have. But not everyone is as blessed...and someone has to step in and let them know they have value that goes far beyond what they can physically offer someone. Someone has to let them know that no matter what complexion, hair texture or size...they are indeed BEAUTIFUL...someone has to let them know they are loved...so if it has to start with me so be it...

To all my ladies of color out there who feel sometimes like no one sees how much you have to offer because of what you look like...all those pretty chocolate girls who see someone who looks different get the man/job/life you want (or you THINK you want because the grass always LOOKS greener on the other side)...to all my Latina mamas who dont fit the mold of what you see representing you on TV...and to all the women of color who aren't satisfied with who they are or how they look because someone else isn't...YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO OFFER....AND I LOVE YOU! :)

I stepped up...you're turn! Ha! That was my sista girl rant for the month...but I had to get that out there...and this is not to say that White women dont have their own sets of issues...Im sure they do...but I can't relate...

Have a Wonderful Wonderful Holiday!

Sincerely,

@bestnewactress

Quick Words...New Inspiration

Admit when you're wrong.

Even when it hurts your pride.

Because at the end of the day...

what matters most are the relationships you build

that last longer than the moment your pride

was bruised....

Friendships, relationships...

Communicate what you want and what you expect

from one another and always, always

make sure people know how much you love them

and how important they are to you

let down your guards....

let go of your cool

turn your swag off

haha do what you need to do...

but live. love. learn

and always admit when you're wrong

when you love

and when you're imperfect

and when you're afraid

Love y'all.

Be Thankful :) Love. Be Inspired and Inspirational.

Sincerely,

@bestnewactress

And to my followers there's a new wonderful blog you should follow: my friend...one of my closest...love her...and feel inspired by her approach...http://simplyseec.blogspot.com/....support.read. enjoy :)

Are Entertainers Role Models?

Ok...so...this is a question that many celebrities get asked and conveniently when they're in the limelight and everything is going fine...they usually kindly accept and even...may i say...bask in the glow of their influence on others. HOWEVER when these "role models" run into controversy they are usually very quick to say "well I got into this to do what I love not to be a role model" So...what do I think?

I'll start with a few examples: Beyonce dons a leotard and tights in her "Single Ladies" video...Ive seen so many leotards this year I thought I was in a remake of Center Stage...Rihanna gets a daring, cutting edge haircut for her "Umbrella" video...scissor happy stylists all over the world are snapping some girl's long locks right as we speak (or taking her weave out or what have you)...even those "celebrities" made famous through their other abilities...Amber Rose is rocking a bald head...and right now there are women who are investing in the warmest hats for the cold winter ahead of them...and dont get me started on the men who wont let Iverson's braid phenomena go or how about my fellas who've been wearing black all year because Jay said so lol...So you kinda see what I'm getting at right? These people ARE role models whether they "signed up" for the position or not. They have to know that there are people (especially young people) who hang on their everyword/outfit/haircut/action and with that knowledge should come a sense of responsibility.

I wrote this blog mostly because after watching yet another video from Beyonce's I Am...Sasha Fierce in which Sasha is most definitely looking gorgeous and putting on a show with Lady Gaga (who shall be in my blog post about the demonic side of music...geesh)...I couldnt help but think she has so many young girls who are her fans who desire so strongly to be like her...and who will subconsciously decide that the way she dresses/behaves and expresses herself as a grown, married woman...is acceptable for a young, growing, UNmarried girl. And although we older girls (or young women or twenty somethings...whatever works) may not readily admit it or recognize it...subconsciously we begin to accept those things as well. This is in no way a Beyonce bashing article...I think she is an awesome entertainer...a really hard working woman and a fellow Virgo artist like myself ;)...im just shedding a little light on a situation that is too often locked in the dark closet. Many people may know that I have a little sister who I LOVE with all my heart and honestly I could NEVER take her to a Beyonce concert...for fear that I'd walk into her room and find her dipping it low and popping her goodies while singing "its too big...its too strong...it wont fit" *kanye shrug* Im just saying. There are so many artists in the same vein as Beyonce who get a pass and are deemed "America's Sweethearts" or "Women of the Year" and it confuses me...its baffling...they cover the magazines geared to young girls and they are WOMEN not girls...they sing about WOMEN's issues/feelings/desires/pains/relationships but they get away with it and we allow it...and then for the little boys...I dont even know what will become of them if someone doesnt talk about something...ANYTHING...other than sex/clubbin/womanizing or "getting money"...its scary to consider how many little boys cant wait to grow up and get money so that he can instruct some woman to bust her p***y open and then tell her to bring it back as his hero Lil Wayne would so eloquenly put it...so per usual I dont have the solution to this problem...just starting the conversation...hoping it will get you guys talking.

And yall know its just my thoughts...

Sincerely,

@bestnewactress

Two of my biggest role models :)- so real....

Women are...Imperfect!

So as I get older I start to think more and more about what it means to be a woman. Let's not even get started on what it means to be a BLACK woman...thats an even deeper thought process...but I digress. While reading Hill Harper's new book "The Conversation" I came to the chapter entitled "What Black Women Want" and I was so happy to find that he actually talked to Black women and gathered their opinions but it also made me think a little about myself as a...well as a woman. I started to think about the things that women are afraid to admit about ourselves and the things that make us irresistible yet impossible to figure out at times. So I decided to do the unthinkable...im gonna say what I know about women...I think I can call myself an expert:

We are irrational. We are easily hurt. We hold grudges. We think about sex as much as men do...we just dont like to admit it. When we first see a good looking man we do, indeed, think about how he would be in bed...and THEN we go into our fantasy world (thinking of marriage, kids, etc...). We will pick fights when things are perfect sometimes just to see how much you care. We are ALL insecure about something. We like to be told how pretty we are...a lot. We love our friends. We DONT tell them EVERYTHING (to all my friends..."did i just say that?" come on we all know its true lol). We do as much dirt as men do...we just do it better. We are smarter than men...and sometimes when we're in relationships we pretend not to be so that we can ignore the WARNING signs. We always know when a man isn't the right one...we just dont always accept it. We get dressed for men (dont care what we say...we want you to notice just how cute we look). We live somewhere between sanity and insanity. We lie. We probably have done #2 at your house without you knowing :). We're fragile (even all the "i dont need a man. im strong and independent and God fearing and cant nobody hurt me" sistas out there). We need to feel appreciated. We're soft and kind. We're ruinable. We're special. We laugh with our eyes and sometimes hurt with our words (we dont mean to). We're the worse during "soowoo" season. We tell our girls mostly all the bad stuff you do. We try to trust. We want to trust. We find it hard to trust. We know when you're 100% in it. We know when the fire is gone. We listen to songs and make our love stories match them...even when they dont. We hear everything you say...and we'll twist those words around to mean whatever we want them to lol. We sometimes confuse lust with love but I've never known a woman to confuse love with lust. We do all the things we did as girls...still. We are complex...yet very simple. We believe in love...even when we say we dont. We need love. We need to love someone. We love to be desired. We hate to be bugged. We love to be admired and envied. We hate to be ignored.

And so for my fellas...you're probably thinking "ok...thanks for the heads up"...or you spent that whole list thinking "yep I already knew this...mmhmmmm crazy a** women" lol well here's something sweet to smooth that over...what I know women like about men....

We like when you try to be tough. We like when you do things...just because. We like when you make french toast ;). We like when you remember something we said in a conversation. We like when you're honest about not being honest. We like when you place your hand on the small of our backs. We like when you watch us talk and get lost in our eyes for that moment. We like when you dont know how to do something but pretend you do. We like how you smell. We like how you walk especially when we're with you. We like how you pretend to not care what we think...but you do. We like how passionate you get about sports, music, movies, etc...women like passion in general. We like when you place your hand on our thighs or on top of our hand in a movie theatre or in the car. We like when you get mad about how someone treated us. We like when you let your competitive side get the best of you and wont let us win. We like when you let us win. haha. We like when you admit to liking a "chick" flick. We like when you trust us. We like when we can trust you. We like when we can smell you on our clothes when you leave. We like when you teach us about sports...even when you get frustrated. We like when you talk to our mothers. We like when you reach out to our friends. We like when you try to guess what we'll like...and get it wrong...but at least you tried. :)

Keep in mind these are for all my sane, real, mature women and men...all yall crazy, loose cannons...I dont have anything for yall on here tonight lol. Naw im just serious. HA! Well that was my nice, sweet blog for the month. Hope you enjoyed. I think I speak for a lot of women when I say the first time I heard this song I was like "OMG I am the SAME way" lol here's Beyonce's 'Flaws and All':

Flaws And All - Beyonce
Uploaded by vindiezel. - See the latest featured music videos.

Sincerely,

@bestnewactress

2's a Scene but 3's a Show?

So this blog post is about relationships...or the lack of...I think I speak for a lot of women (and a some men although I can only honestly speak from a woman's point of view) when I say I feel let down by my brothas especially those at the top who have many ears listening to their voices. I mean where did this total disregard for those sacred bonds between men and women come from? Let me set this up by saying, sadly a lot of women have taken on the same attitudes and behave in the same way as men so this is not a man bashing post by any means...I just want to express my feelings...if you ever felt like this? Vibe with me...lol

Everywhere you turn there is a song, tv show, movie, news article about cheating men/women who have decided that what they have at home is not good enough for them. The glorification of "threesomes", "boyfriend #2", "side chicks", etc...is at an all time high i mean there is a certain female rapper who calls her self "Monica Lewinsky" (im just saying)...and so where does that leave us? It is hurtful to think that these ideas will filter themselves into what will be the marriages between people in our generation. There are many women who openly date men with wives/girlfriends i.e. Kim on RHOA and see no problem with it...in fact think its normal, justify it and glorify themselves for being the woman he spends the "most of his time with". And then there are all my "boyfriend #2"'s out there. You know the guys who would rather date someone else's girl so he doesnt have to deal with the day to day work it takes to maintain a relationship. And I will even go out on a limb and say that about 80% of the people I know who have either been in relationships or are currently in them have come face to face with some instance of infidelity. So much so that some people even now have "situations" or relationship statuses of "its complicated" or "open"...ummm where dey do dat at?

What has happened to us that we now think it is acceptable to be cheated on, lied to and under appreciated? We tolerate so much and yet demand so little out of our partners. I feel like there are so many foundations built on sand these days that the percentage of crumbling relationships cant do anything but rise. As a people in America I think we have become accustomed to never being satisfied..."oh I have big breasts, Im gonna get BIGGER breasts", "oh I can afford a Whopper, no I'm gonna get a DOUBLE WHOPPER", "oh I can bag one bad chick, I'm gonna bag TWO at the SAME TIME". And now we have no morals, no expectations, no guidelines, no boundaries. Love has lost its meaning and its importance. Saying you love someone used to set up certain expectations: never hurting that person intentionally, thinking about that person's feelings above your own and always, always acting OUT of that which you feel (that being Love so your actions could never go sour). Who knows what love means anymore in some of these relationships...and where to place the blame? It used to be that we could blame the indifference to relationships on the presence of broken homes in our community but I just dont think that's true anymore. I know plenty of people from (seemingly) wonderful families where they've seen what a good relationship can be like, who are the worst of the worst when it comes to their disregard for the idea of monogamous relationships. I could blame the media...that would be the easiest way out...but hell at this point we all should know that "its only entertainment"...but maybe we dont.

Im gonna instead take the road less travelled and hold our generation responsible for our own actions. No one can be blamed but us...how many women have entertained a man in a relationship for a little longer than you should have? how many men are giving the business to someone's wife or woman right now? how many men/women plan on being "single for the night" this weekend? Right. We make decisions every day that make a world of difference. It's up to us to bring the love and respect back to our relationships and we can start by just doing what we know is right. So to my ladies...the next time you get the number from the guy who says "i have a situation" or "we aint on good terms" delete it, throw it away and if he has yours DO NOT ANSWER...give that woman he's hurting a break. To my fellas when you meet that girl who says "we been going through some stuff" or " what he doesnt know wont hurt him"....walk away, there is nothing she can give you that's worth having...and she's probably giving a lot of it away if thats the way she's selling it. Of course I dont have all the answers...I just feel like we have to start somewhere in fixing this problem and we have to start at a very basic level. Through those common mistakes we can stop the hurt woman who gets with the good man and ruins him...and then he gets with a good girl and ruins her...the cycle continues...children are made by the ruined and here we go all over again...this was my attempt to just start the discussion...and all i ask is that you guys think about it and keep the conversation going.

Im just speaking my mind as usual... :)

Sincerely,

@bestnewactress

Young Artists Spotlight Take II...

Ok so yesterday I began my new spotlight on up and coming "people you should know" or "people you will know...VERY soon" with Jon Redwine of 2085 Productions and everyone was really supportive and seemed to be ready and willing to read part II, so here it is... :)

Part II of my interview with:

Jon Redwine of 2085 Productions

Producer,Musician, Entrepreneur

Little info before we dive in...Redwine and his two business partners that make up the other half of 2085 Productions, have created an iPhone Application called iFlyp't...

Here's a photo of the entire 2085 crew

L to R: "Bobby Digital", Greg Lowe (manager), and of course Jon Redwine

Ok now we're ready to move on...here's the rest of the interview :)

LoveJonesBlog: so the App? what is it? why'd you create it?

Redwine: iFlyp't is the 1st iphone app to allow users to customize there music in a unique way.

I come from a producing background and a DJing background and me and my partners where sitting with Will.I.Am and heard him say the person that changes the way music is distributed will be the next dude and we sat down and made a way for anybody to be able to sit down and legally experience creating their favorite artist's music and feel the excitement of recording something.

LoveJonesBlog: What did it take to get it up and running?

Redwine: I was in NY 4 days a week for like 2 months. It was crazy sitting down with every executives boss and being young and black across from 12 older white people and having them onslaught u with questions and legal jargon. We were smart and built an amazing team though

LoveJonesBlog: thats incredible. when do you sleep?

Redwine: a little bit i work for my self so the hours are shorter. I spend all day talkin with NY and all the people on the project and nite in the studio cutting tracks for labels and for tracks from labels I made that will be available on the application

LoveJonesBlog: you have a clone. im convinced.

Redwine: i wish

LoveJonesBlog: so in closing anything you want to say...put out in the open...?

Redwine: everybody should check out www.iflypt.com when it launches this week and the app is gonna be in the APPLE STORE SOOON so check for it and whatever you do in life make sure you dont get trapped in the safety of the check in the rat race and look up and attack your passions because the worst thing to waste is time because you can always luck up with more money... and iflypt is a social network too

LoveJonesBlog:awwww you're so positive

Redwine: always life is all about energy and you make your reality and control how things come to you

So there you have it...dude is mad cool and his WORK ETHIC?!!! Killing it...go support him and 2085 productions

Below is a video example of how the App works:

Hope you guys will buy the app and support the movement...I'll spotlight a new artist every week..send me any suggestions...promote yourself...let me know...up next...an up and coming Fashion designer...I hope :)

sincerely,

@bestnewactress

Young Artists Spotlight

So last month I spotlighted a few people I felt deserved some shine who are already in the business knocking heads around....names many people know...faces people have seen...well this month I'm doing something similar but (in keeping with my progressive mentality) different! I'm gonna take some time and give some shine to those up and comers in the game who you may have never heard of but will know all about in no time! The first person I decided to blog about is a young man who I am just intrigued by all around...and am almost certain has discovered the art of cloning because he cant be doing all these things as one person...I was amazed by his honesty, love for his craft and the eloquent way he answered my questions...and to all my ladies out there he plays ALL instruments and ain't too bad looking :)....one time for

John Redwine of 2085 productions

Producer, Musician, Entrepreneur

LoveJonesBlog: OK. So who are you? What do you do?

Redwine: Im Jon Redwine. Im a musician and entreprenuer that went to the University of St. Thomas in Saint Paul. I studied Business Entreprenuership and Electronic Music Production. I was born and raised in Oak Cliff Texas and have become a globe trotter out of the quick expansion that my company has undergone in such a short time

LoveJonesBlog: So tell me a bit about yourself that people should know going into this interview

Redwine: Im young and I think people can have it all in life you jus have to make your own reallity.. Moved to LA with nothing and built a career and a company to facilitate what I wanted in life with NO MONEY and all intellectual property

Redwine: (....and Imma Alpha) off the record

Redwine/LoveJonesBlog: lol

LoveJonesBlog: So as a musician...describe your sound....and what instruments do you play?

Redwine: I play EVERY Instrument based on the western Scale. I'm a soundscaper and I'm cross Genre..last week I went in on a project I have on Def Jam then turned around and went to work on some stuff for Disney. I am live instrument based and usually am heavy with synths and guitars

Redwine: I have a production team called 2085.. it consist of me.. "Redwine" and my songwriter singer "Bobby Digital" and we been coming up on the LA scene and GRINDING... both me and my songwriter are both from Oak Cliff and if you're from Oak Cliff you'll understand how odd it is to come from there and do what we have been doing

LoveJonesBlog: Not from Oak Cliff but I'm from Detroit so I know the struggle

Redwine: indeed. But Dallas is a little different because we grow up with open racism. I've been called a "Nigger" sooo many times coming up.

LoveJOnesBlog: What can one expect from a Redwine track/2085 creation?

Redwine: 2085 represents the future of 1985 which is when Pop music and pop culture was at its peak with artists such as MJ and Madonna {killing the game} along side Earth Wind and Fire... lately I have been gettin comparison from alot of A&Rs to Maurice White from EWF and Jimi Hendrix in the production of 'The Experience' and also Timbaland and Pharrell so 2085 is def a new genre in sound textures as far as genuine touch on sounds

LoveJonesBlog: WOW those are big shoes to fill

Redwine: Definitely I grew up and still mainly listen to old GREAT Music.. I come from a musical background so Music has always been my confidant so My life story plays in my head and tracks strike up from Marvin Gaye..Donny Hathaway.. Jimmy Scott.. My frat brother Duke Ellington...Confunkshun...to Kanye West and this band out of France called Phoenix

LoveJonesBlog: Didnt know Duke was an Alpha...im a big fan (of Duke)...crazy

Redwine: Yeah main reason I wanted to become one. I actually can score music so that was a big thing to me... I write out sheet music by hand if I dont have my guitar or pianos or video camera to capture it

LoveJonesBlog: That is really incredible! When did you start with music full time?

Redwine: My Sophmore year in College when I stopped playing baseball.

LoveJonesBlog: When did you know you had to give it your all? What happened?

Redwine: When I was 13 and I couldnt express how this gurl made me feel but i started writing a song and it was soo easy and sounded good....(in college) I was tryna do everything in school and I had to learn that you only have sooo much of yourself to give so I had to dedicate to what meant the most to me and when I evaluated where my heart was at Music was my only companion besides my pham

LoveJonesBlog: a girl...lol...so im gonna get all up in your business before we get on to the App, ok?... fair warning

Redwine: lol...aiight

LoveJonesBlog: a lot of artists ( i can make this broad generalization since Im one myself) lol started out trying to express their feelings to the opposite sex...and most of the guys i know who are artists (esp. musicians) use their skills to get the ladies...guilty?

Redwine: i think everybody that really lo(i)ves music has to be guilty of that.. at this point in Life I live for the music and its the reason I'm alive.. and music is about celebrating the past and showing the beauty in what's to come and when it comes to human interaction on any level... when you want to bring someone in to show them who you are (and if who you are is an artist that paints emotion on an imaginery canvas in peoples heads) then you have to use that to SHOW someone who you are... so its an introduction to every relationship i have...whether business or personal and also the ending credits to some situations in life..

LoveJonesBlog: ending credits...love that...good answer

Redwine: thanks

LoveJonesBlog: ...but you could have said i play the panties off these women with my guitar

Redwine: lol

Cool dude, right? Well this is only Part I....Redwine goes on to explain the creation and promotion of his very own iPhone Application: iFlyp't in Part II of our interview...dude is a one man "i do it all" machine :) Part II tomorrow...hope you enjoyed!

sincerely,

@bestnewactress :)